The Prison

“THE PRISON”

SYNOPSIS:  Rachel has had enough of her husband, Brad’s short temper, controlling mannerisms, and increased violence.  Her only friend is also a battered wife who lives across the street.  Both women literally become prisoners in their own homes, and their only form of communication with the outside world is to each other through their front windows.

After nearly six years of looking out the window, Rachel finally devises a plan to free herself and her daughters.  But she can’t go to the authorities when her father-in-law is the chief of police.  Her only way out is to kill her husband.  With her girls and friend in tow, she runs as far away as she can with only a kind, yet bizarre stranger to help them on their journey to freedom.

Unbeknownst to Rachel, Brad survives her attack.  As he recovers, he has a completely different recollection of their past life together, leaving everyone who knew them to wonder why his wife would ever want to leave him.

Rachel and her group soon find themselves in a situation far more threatening than the lives they left behind.  Worse yet, just when she needs someone the most, no one from her past even seems to remember who she is.  Rachel soon learns she can’t trust anyone or anything, and she finds that even without bars, she’ll never be able to escape THE PRISON inside her mind.

As you travel with Rachel through the twists and turns of this psychological thriller, you’ll soon be convinced that bars aren’t the only things that separate a captive from society.  It soon becomes evident that in this “he said – she said” account of events, someone has broken from reality.

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Word Count: 82,000
First Draft: August 16, 2013 – September 23, 2013
Status: Undergoing Final Proofread
Genre: Psychological Thriller

HISTORY:  In August, 2013, I dreamed the entire idea of The Prison.  When I woke, I thought it was an amazingly entertaining dream, and I even wondered if perhaps I’d previously seen it in a movie.  I dreamed it again the next night with greater detail, and then a third night with even more focus on the minutiae.  In my dream, this story featured an all-star cast, except for myself and my sister Michelle who were the main female characters.  (Yes, the delicious Brad Pitt and yummy Johnny Depp were the male leads.  Ooh la la!)  So I kept the first names of everyone and wrote the story exactly as I dreamed it.  I’ve dreamed other such repeat stories in the past but never did anything with them past telling them to willing listeners.  However, after three consecutive nights of this intense plot, I knew then that I had to write it down.  While a good deal of this dream replayed portions of my own past, it originated completely in my subconscious and developed entirely in my sleep.

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QUICK PITCH:  Rachel, a battered wife, must kill her husband to free herself from his cruelty, then takes her children and only friend on the run to escape the pending retribution of her police chief father-in-law, with only a kind, yet close-talking, bizarre stranger to help them along their way.  Worse yet, just when she needs someone the most, no one from Rachel’s past even remembers who she is… including herself, in this psychologically thrilling tale of Sleeping with the Enemy meets Secret Window.

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44 thoughts on “The Prison

  1. I did get to spend a week from my teaching job as an observer in the Miami Dade County State Attorneys Office, Division of Domestic Violence. I was shocked and sickened by the amount and intensity of the problem.

    • Yes, it is a sickening problem for sure. Too many women don’t realize there are men out there that don’t communicate with their fists and too much of society doesn’t understand that these women don’t “stay because they must like it.”

  2. This has a resounding sentiment with me. In 1983, two of my cousins each fell victim to domestic violence, albeit they survived. On my mother’s side, my cousin decided to join her boyfriend and some other couples on a camping trip. My cousin and her boyfriend decided to take their infant son with them. At some point, my cousin’s boyfriend got drunk on beer – as he was wont to do – and got mad because she told him to stop drinking so much. An argument ensued whereupon he picked up a heavy-duty flashlight and smacked her on both sides of her face; breaking her jaw. While the other men restrained him, she managed to gather the baby and a few things and head back home. Not feeling safe there, she headed to her mother’s home (my aunt) in suburban Dallas. My cousin left her boyfriend after that and even spent time in a battered women’s shelter.

    Around that same time a cousin on my father’s side got married. Her parents (my father’s brother and sister-in-law) spent thousands on her wedding. They had a massive reception at a hotel with a cash bar, a band and a deejay. The “Dallas Morning News” published a story on the wedding and its extensive preparations. Nine months later they separated. My cousin’s new husband turned out to have a volatile temper and beat her more than a few times. At one point, she managed to make it to her parents’ house. Her father grabbed his gun and, with her brother in tow, drove back to the couple’s apartment where they found the husband. My uncle threatened to kill him if he ever touched his daughter like that again. Fortunately, my cousin saw the danger and divorced him, despite his pleas for forgiveness.

    Your story sounds like a good one, Rachel. Good luck with it!

    • Both of those stories are so sad, Alejandro. I was glad they both had happy endings. Both your cousins sound like strong women and hopefully if they share their stories, other women can learn from them. Too many women never find a way out. Thank you for sharing them with me. Best wishes! 😀

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  4. Hi Rachel, Thanks for introducing yourself by following our site. We look forward to exploring yours. If you’re on Facebook we also invite you to visit the RAXA Collective page. See you there!

  5. Rachel, you are writing a captivating scenario, and it will be a gripping story to read.
    Well done! Thank you for your follow!! I shall be interested to follow you too!

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  9. This is totally creative and intriguing. I’d be afraid to read it because I have an issue within my own head. I love your approach to writing. Good luck! FYI.. I’d read it….

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