The Slumlord’s Sunny Disposition

Last week, we discussed how often truth is stranger than fiction, and I told you a couple of really weird stories about when I moved into and out of the Craigslist House.  I promised you that this week, I’d tell you what happened at the next place where I lived.

As you read last week, because my landlord wasn’t paying the mortgage with the rent I was paying her, I got a 3-day eviction notice and had to find a place to live in a hurry. Also, because of what happened when I moved into the Craigslist House, I obviously wasn’t going to be getting back my last month’s rent or security and pet deposits to help finance my move.

My sister, my son, and I scrambled to find a rental house that was less than two miles away.  But there was a $250 application fee which would not be applied to the deposits.  The rent was  reasonable at $975, but the thing that really sold us was that there was an outbuilding that would’ve been perfect for my photography studio if it were repaired and finished.  The landlord said he’d be happy to do the work if we moved in.

So the night before we had to move, we went to sign the paperwork with the new landlord slumlord.  However when we got there, he notified us that the rent was $1,075.  We pointed out that the sign had said $975 which was also what he told us that over the phone.  He replied that the rent was discounted to $975 when it was paid at least 10 days early, but that otherwise it was $1,075 on the first of the month, and there was a $75 per day late fee after that, as well as a $500 eviction fee if the rent was ever more than 5 days late!

Furthermore, he told us that we were welcome to start our renovations on the outbuilding.  We reminded him that he said he would do the work, and he replied that what he meant was that he would recommend contractors that we could hire at our own expense.


I told the shyster slumlord that he could take his rental contract, light it on fire, and shove it up his… Well, you know.  And I told him I wanted our $250 application fee back, at which point he said that it was non-refundable and that we were out of luck.

So because my family had to be out of the Craigslist House in less than 24 hours, we had no choice but to sign the contract and move into “The Slumlord’s House.”

This story might not be the best example of a truth-is-stranger-than-fiction, but when you couple it with the move in and out of the house immediately before it, does it seem likely I would have that many bad landlords slumlords in a row?  Though we didn’t know it yet, “The Slumlord’s House” would turn out to be the worst place we’d ever lived.  And tomorrow, you’ll find out exactly why.

Do you know anyone who’s ever had such an underhanded and dishonest landlord?