Where’s the One About Rachel?

As long as we’re still on the subject of pet peeves, do you know what’s really cheesed me for years?  Why isn’t there a hit song about Rachel?  (Please note I said a “HIT song” and not that goofy song from 1871, Reuben and Rachel.)  There are literally hundreds of songs about other people, but not one of them is named Rachel.  I personally know several professional musicians, and none of them has risen to the challenge and written a song about a Rachel.  I don’t know why… something about their wives not understanding or something like that.

There are countless songs about women!  Think of the dozens of songs about Mary, Alice and Rosie.  The Police sang about Roxanne, Neil Diamond sang about Sweet Caroline, Dr. Hook even sang about Sylvia’s Mother!  But there are plenty of names that are far less popular than Rachel, and they still made the cut.  David Bowie sang about a Letter to Hermione, The Oak Ridge Boys sang about Elvira, The Monkees sang about Auntie Grizelda, Green Day sings about Haushinka, and Tommy Roe sang Hooray for Hazel!

Songs about both men and women include The Ballad of Bonnie and Clyde, The Ballad of John and Yoko, Linus and Lucy, and Jack and Diane.

Even men alone have songs about them!  There are numerous songs about Billy, and Johnny, and even men named Harry.  Eminem sang about Stan, The Beatles sang Hey Jude, Phil Collins sang about Lorenzo, and Johnny Cash even managed to sing about A Boy Named Sue!

Some people are lucky enough to get both their first and their last name in songs about them.  Think of I’m Henry the VIII, I Am by Herman’s Hermits, Jimmy Olsen’s Blues by The Spin Doctors, and Me and Bobby McGee by Janis Joplin. Not to mention Marshall Mathers in Eminem’s autobiographical ditty, Paul Revere by The Beastie Boys, and Postcards From Richard Nixon by Elton John.

Heck, even The Devil has songs about him!  Motley Crue urged us to Shout at the Devil, Van Halen was Runnin’ With the Devil, and The Rolling Stones even had Sympathy for the Devil!  And if you’re still looking for him, Charlie Daniels and his band will be the first to tell you that The Devil Went Down to Georgia.

The Kingsmen liked singing about Louie Louie so much, they said his name twice, and Neil Diamond felt just as strongly about Holly Holly!  (Of course, he was fickle and did the same thing for Cherry Cherry, as well.)  Santana certainly had a similar affection for Maria Maria, and The Blasters felt that Marie Marie was worth repeating.  Jenny Jenny was on Little Richard’s mind twice as much as other women, and Ray Peterson felt twice as nice about Corinna Corinna.

So in conclusion, when I hear about one of these other ladies or gentlemen that are honored in song, it makes me a little sad.  If you don’t have a song about your name, feel free to join me in my misery, because frankly, I’m tired of feeling left out!

Talk to me:  What is your favorite song (including artist) with someone’s name in the title?  (Some of my favorites are Stan by Eminem, Jezebel by Peter Noone, Beth by Kiss, Jeremy by Pearl Jam, Stephanie by The Partridge Family, Angie by The Rolling Stones, Dirty Diana by Michael Jackson, My Michelle by Guns n’ Roses, Just Like Jesse James by Cher, Amie by Pure Prairie League, and Rosie by Bon Jovi.)  Is there a song about you or your significant other?  (Check the lists in the links above if you’re not sure.)  If not, what band would you ideally want to sing the song about you?

44 thoughts on “Where’s the One About Rachel?

  1. there is a song called ‘beth,’ named after the drummer’s wife (i think it was kiss), and my freaky neighbor in my old house, many years ago, used to sing it out loud when i would be in the backyard. a little bit odd, so not the best memory. i would have preferred to have sting sing it.
    the good thing about not having your name immortalized in song, as of yet, it that it is open to possibilities. any time now, you could turn on the radio and hear a new hit song, ‘rachel,’…. sung by___?

  2. I have more than my share Rachel (sorry) Dirty Diana, as you mentioned above, Oh Diana by Paul Anka and Diana by Bryan Adams (my fave)
    Diana xo
    p.s. found Rachel’s song for you. That’s the title anyway, I didn’t hear your name said in the lyrics.

  3. I like “Gloria,” the old song where they spell it out, not the 80s one.

    I’m surprised there are no songs about Rachel…I’ll have to research and see what I can come up with. I’ve never heard a song about an Alicia either, if that makes you feel better. 🙂

    Also, there’s brown eyed girl – and as a little girl, I was exceedingly jealous that my sister got to claim that song as her own. I have green eyes, and it wasn’t until many years later that I discovered “green eyed lady” and my personal favorite, coldplay’s “green eyes.” 🙂

  4. Rachel’s Song •

    Must be a cold front coming
    Cause I saw the eastbound C&O
    And the coal cars were dusted with a half inch of snow
    And that boy’ll drive me crazy
    Don’t know what I’ll do with him
    School will be out tomorrow if that cold front moves in
    Calling out
    To the dying daylight
    The shadows of the mountains
    Bringing on the night

    The old folks like to whisper
    He favors your side in his face
    When he gets a little older
    He’s going to lead a merry chase

    When I’m all alone it’s all right
    It Isn’t going to wound my pride
    If anyone can claim they’re all right
    So can I

    I wrecked the El Camino
    Would have been DWI
    So I just walked off and left it
    Laying on its side
    The troopers found it in the morning
    And they said it’s purely luck I wasn’t killed
    I probably ought to quit my drinking
    But I don’t believe I will


    He used to ask about you
    About a million times a day
    I got so tired of trying to answer
    I just turned my head away
    Now he don’t pay me much attention
    He’s not asking anymore
    I guess he’d probably know you
    If you walked back in the door

    Calling out to the empty night
    Watching as the snowflakes
    Come dancing round the light
    Dancing up against the window
    It’s like they’re peeking through the glass
    And they hover for a moment
    And then they fall on past
    Calling out

  5. What a fun post! I see from comments above that people have found you more than one song with your name. Yay!
    I’ve never wanted a song with my name in it. I would think it could get annoying–and what if you hate the song? 🙂

  6. I feel like I would greatly want to expunge anything with Bruce in it 😀 2 examples that irritated me where 1: ELO song “Don’t get me down, Bruce” and 2: Monty Python sketch that on occasion finds it’s way back. Sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for 😀

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